Ever since getting engaged, the Lord has really been speaking to me about what marriage is all about - according to Him - & what it's not all about - according to the world & our society. This is something that has really been placed on my heart to share so I hope that this reaches someone & shines the light of God on their hearts.
Growing up, I didn't have the healthiest viewpoint of marriage; although I didn't know it at the time. I can count on one hand the number of couples I know in my family that have only been married once & never divorced. My parents got divorced when I was in middle school, all my grandparent's have been married & divorced, almost all of my aunts & uncles...well, you get the point.
When I started going to youth group & church in high school, I can see now how the Lord really made a point to place Godly, loving, respectful, & honoring couples in my path. These are the people that quite quickly turned into my mentors, people I would watch & observe on Sunday mornings & Wednesday nights, & couples I would (& still do) strive to be like.
My whole life, I have known that all I wanted to be when I grew up was a wife & mommy. I've always been nurturing & motherly (much to my sisters' annoyance), always been the responsible one, & always the one to put other's needs before mine. I have just recently seen how those core values that God created in me, my experiences growing up, & my hopes & desires that I now have, all come together & work together as one.
Thinking back on growing up, I knew that I wanted a marriage, & I knew the marriages that I saw around me weren't quite right, not quite what I wanted. I knew there was something missing in those marriages around me, I just couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't know it then, but the missing piece was Christ.
What all those marriages around me didn't have, was Christ. They didn't know what marriage was created to be like; they only knew what the world told them marriage was supposed to be like.
Man + Woman - Christ = a big mess, not a marriage.
I know that sounds harsh & most people don't want to hear that, but I feel that it's important to say because it's what Christ would say as well.
Once Ben & I got engaged, I couldn't wait to dive head first into studying what marriage is really all about & learn to see it from God's perspective. Well, He certainly delivered! He has flipped my whole view of marriage around 180 degrees - in the most incredible, beautiful way! I started reading Christian books on marriage & began a Bible study with my mentor who also happens to be a beautiful, Godly wife & mother. On top of that, our pastor has been doing a sermon series called Future Families which is all about creating healthy, Christian families, which resulted in our college group having an amazing discussion about one Sunday evening on Ephesians 5, which is also the same passage that our pastor gave Ben & I to study for one of our pre-marriage counseling meetings.
God wasn't being very subtle, to say the least. Ephesians 5 has been following me around for weeks now & I almost have the whole thing memorized by now! But hey, I'm not complaining. Ephesians 5 has spoken to me & rocked my world more than any of portion of scripture thus far in my walk with Christ - it just blows my mind! He has been so patient & gracious with me over the last few months in leading me on this journey of understanding what it means to be a submissive, respectful, supportive, loving wife, & I know I still have so much more to learn!
I have known I wanted to be Ben's wife for the last 4 years, but I have never been more excited for that to become my reality than I am today. I know it won't be easy, I know there will be pain, anger, frustration, & tears. I also know, that there is no more perfectly-designed, God-ordained way to reflect the life of Christ in my life.
Join me for Part 2 where I dive into what exactly The Lord has taught me about marriage HIS way & how it has changed the way that I view my upcoming marriage with Ben.
|| All photos curtesy of Jonathan Gipaya Photography ||
