Trust & Timing: Part ll

My post today is actually a continuation of my previous post Trust & Timing from a couple weeks back...so sorry if this is repetitious.

So the book that I am currently reading called When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric & Leslie Ludy. I know I say this a lot, but it is a great one. Good for those who are in a relationship, but even better for those who are yet to be in a relationship, particularly teens & young adults.

The other night the chapter that I was reading had to do with honoring your future husband or wife, in every aspect of your life. And I mean every. Not just physically, but emotionally & spiritually.

In their words, if your future spouse were able to see everything you do, read all of your thoughts, & hear everything you say:

     -How would it make them feel?

     -Would it make them happy?

     -Would it make them feel adored & honored?

This really struck me. 

So let me get this straight - either Ben & I are not meant to be together & we are clearly missing His clues & disobeying him, OR we are meant to be together forever & it just isn't the right time.

If Ben & I aren't meant to be together, then what we are doing now, is most definitely not honoring to our future husband & wife. We have shared our most intimate details with each other. He knows my whole heart. I know his whole heart. We've been through a lot together over the last 3 years. We've grown, we've struggled, we've matured together.

This then set in motion a combination of comfort & fear.

Fear of disobeying God & of losing Ben, to be honest.

Comfort that maybe we are the ones that God intended for us to wed someday.

I prayed & talked to God about it that night. And the next morning. And that night.

And I talked to Ben. We both seem to be on the same page. If we aren't meant to make a lifelong commitment to each other, then what has the last 3 years meant?

     -Was it all a waste?

     -Are we going to have to start all of this all over again someday with someone new?

     -What was the point of it all?

     -How could I ever possibly open myself up to another person like I did with him?

I just got this feeling of peace come over me, peace that it wasn't all a waste. Peace that I don't need to worry about those things. He has them all in His hands. He has me in His hands. His timing will prove itself worth the wait - whatever that wait may bring.

Great. Now all I have to worry about is being patient (Not my strong suit.)